For all the ways technology has made it easier to find and build relationships, it has found ten other ways to make them 100 times worse.
This example of technology and relationships gone bad involves a dating app, a guy named Connor, a girl named Ashley, and the apparently unimaginably offensive question of “What do you do?”
I mean, we’ve all been there, right? You’re just trying to be caring or supportive – or in Ashley’s case, just plain polite – and suddenly you find yourself on the receiving end of someone’s pent-up emotional breakdown, being painted as the bad guy and having no idea why.
This situation happened to Ashley while using the dating app Bumble, and so it was easy for her to document the emotional and verbal abuse being thrown her way, and put it out there for all the world to see.
And see we did – including Bumble themselves, who were none too happy with Connor’s little outburst.
“Go take your $40,000/ account manager job & asu degree elsewhere. My $300,000 job and Notre Dame finance degree has no use for you.”
I mean, who even says things like that?
After sending these screenshots to Bumble, the company quickly came out with an open letter to Connor himself, leaving no doubt as to which side of the fiasco they were on.
Ashley was (wait for it, Connor, because this is where things really get interesting), viewing herself as an equal. It might sound crazy, but people connect over the basic routines of life. You know… the weather, working out, grabbing a drink, eating, and working.
Now, I’ve built and maintained (or lost) innumerable relationships throughout my adult life – romantic, plutonic, professional, whatever – and I can personally attest that the question of “what do you do for work?” is probably the single best go-to question when meeting someone new.
“Hi, nice to meet you. What do you do for work?” It’s a good ice breaker, and unless you are living off of a trust fund, needing to work is pretty much the one thing on which we can all find common ground.
That’s like Building Relationships 101, Connor.